That day I became a lunatic woman as I waited for DH to return from work. In my mind I had already mapped out the sequence of events – I would harass the shit out of DH (yes when I am angry I become the perfect bully though I have mellowed down a lot since then!), then pack my bags and move out.
You know some people know how to behave and when. The timing is so crucial when things are going wrong. Utter a wrong word at the wrong time and a relationship can break. Remain silent and you can iron out a lot of problems. But for the life of me I can’t be like that – I have to blow out, be blunt, make a lot of drama and then cool down. I try so desperately to be cool under tough situations, but I can’t.
Anyway, DH comes home and as anticipated I pounce on him. Imagine my shock and surprise when he shouts back at me for not trusting him and going through his emails. Things weren’t going the way I had planned. He threw at me statements like how could I not understand the feelings of a broken women and that he just did not want to become enemies with his ex just because they were divorcing? DH is the most logical and calm person that I know of, so a lot of his arguments did make sense. And I was desperately losing ground.
A few questions burned in my mind and these I was quick to ask him. Not only did it silence DH, but he actually walked away. If things were so simple, then why the hell didn’t DH tell me about all these mails and meetings with his ex much before? Why did I have to find it out this way? And why did G actually want to divorce him in the first place? I knew why I was divorcing my ex but what were his reasons?
Another thing too hurt me, but this was not the time to discuss it. DH is the hoarder in our relationship. He keeps things from the 1970s when his family was staying in Singapore. DH has emails of his ex-wife dating from yr 1998. But he has not saved a single email of mine from our courtship days. Reason – well to make things more special, he had a hotmail ID that was exclusive for our correspondence. Once we moved on from the mail writing stage to telephone calls, DH soon forgot that hotmail has this system of erasing all emails in an account if one did not log in once in 30 days. It is a different matter that I had print outs of all his emails! (So nothing was actually lost)
After about two hours DH returns and first apologises (victory!! what mattered more than the survival of the relationship was me winning the argument!), second DH declared that he would stop all correspondence with this woman (second victory!!). DH said that he too would have found it difficult if the roles were reversed and he understood perfectly well how I felt.
Oh hang on, things were going too smooth and I was not willing to let the situation sort out that fast. No it wouldn’t have been fair on me. All plans of getting married soon were scrapped, I would return to Dubai, get a job and we would continue corresponding. If we still found that we could trust each other then we would continue with our relationship.
You know I was not expecting that recalling this experience would take this long. I guess there is a Part 4 to this now. In the next part you will read how I took revenge on G and still am.
PS: I want to conclude the story in Part 4, but to be truthful it is still continuing even after 7 years.
You know some people know how to behave and when. The timing is so crucial when things are going wrong. Utter a wrong word at the wrong time and a relationship can break. Remain silent and you can iron out a lot of problems. But for the life of me I can’t be like that – I have to blow out, be blunt, make a lot of drama and then cool down. I try so desperately to be cool under tough situations, but I can’t.
Anyway, DH comes home and as anticipated I pounce on him. Imagine my shock and surprise when he shouts back at me for not trusting him and going through his emails. Things weren’t going the way I had planned. He threw at me statements like how could I not understand the feelings of a broken women and that he just did not want to become enemies with his ex just because they were divorcing? DH is the most logical and calm person that I know of, so a lot of his arguments did make sense. And I was desperately losing ground.
A few questions burned in my mind and these I was quick to ask him. Not only did it silence DH, but he actually walked away. If things were so simple, then why the hell didn’t DH tell me about all these mails and meetings with his ex much before? Why did I have to find it out this way? And why did G actually want to divorce him in the first place? I knew why I was divorcing my ex but what were his reasons?
Another thing too hurt me, but this was not the time to discuss it. DH is the hoarder in our relationship. He keeps things from the 1970s when his family was staying in Singapore. DH has emails of his ex-wife dating from yr 1998. But he has not saved a single email of mine from our courtship days. Reason – well to make things more special, he had a hotmail ID that was exclusive for our correspondence. Once we moved on from the mail writing stage to telephone calls, DH soon forgot that hotmail has this system of erasing all emails in an account if one did not log in once in 30 days. It is a different matter that I had print outs of all his emails! (So nothing was actually lost)
After about two hours DH returns and first apologises (victory!! what mattered more than the survival of the relationship was me winning the argument!), second DH declared that he would stop all correspondence with this woman (second victory!!). DH said that he too would have found it difficult if the roles were reversed and he understood perfectly well how I felt.
Oh hang on, things were going too smooth and I was not willing to let the situation sort out that fast. No it wouldn’t have been fair on me. All plans of getting married soon were scrapped, I would return to Dubai, get a job and we would continue corresponding. If we still found that we could trust each other then we would continue with our relationship.
You know I was not expecting that recalling this experience would take this long. I guess there is a Part 4 to this now. In the next part you will read how I took revenge on G and still am.
PS: I want to conclude the story in Part 4, but to be truthful it is still continuing even after 7 years.
1 comment:
Hmpf! I'm not liking the breaks you are taking! I feel like throwing a tantrum here. Can we not have 3 posts a day? Like 3 meals a day? Please ;)
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