I have a small room for myself. With the exception of my books which are in DH’s study, all my possessions are kept in this small room. I have a thing for small cute rooms, tiny houses etc. I always thought that it was because small spaces were easier to clean.
Anyway the day I got admitted to the A&E, I was as usual in my room going about with office work when I got hit with the terrible pain. A call for ambulance did not work, they said that if I was well enough to talk then I was well enough to call for a taxi and get to the hospital. Once I got off the phone with the ambulance services, I had to take a moment or two to clear my head and assess my next course of action. I knew that my pain was no ordinary pain and in a moment or two I could end up with some serious damages.
DH works at the other end of London and as usual his mobile phone was switched off. We used to joke often about DH’s switched off phone and the reasons why he even carries it. But this day was no joke, I genuinely felt I was about to die. I kept trying to figure out what to do. In between trying to get my head around things, I remember looking up at the ceiling and calling out to God. It was more like begging for something or somebody to help me. As I looked up, I saw all the storage cupboards that lined the ceiling. They contained my “stock”, the stuff that I have hoarded since God knows when – all my make-up items, toiletries, bags, clothes, study materials; company stuff that I had been collecting from every charity sale and a thought crossed my mind, a profound one.
While I was withering in pain – not one of these things could alleviate my condition - all I knew was that neither my loved ones nor my loved possessions could help me one bit. What was the use of being attached to these material things, when they could do no damn thing for me? Funnily though, I harbour no ill towards DH.
I let the thought go and went about that day, which you can read in detail over here and here.
When I got back from the hospital, I dived back into work. The news given to colleagues was that I had an appendics operation. I want no pity and with all the piling work, I wanted no holidays. Then came the exams in first week of May and they got over on Friday, 6th May. Guess what is the first thing I did on Friday evening? I sorted out my loved possessions, including my books. First to go were my clothes – I didn’t care whether they were designer brands or not. The general rule used for everything was – if I haven’t touched something for two years, I probably wouldn’t use it again. I was also not going to spare anything if what-if-I-lose-weight-and-can-squeeze-into-it-later-on. If and when I lose weight I will buy new stuff.
After clothes came jewellery, then shoes, make-up, books and finally bags. Along with two big boxes of books, I had eight big garbage bags full of stuff that I wanted to get rid of. DH advised me to e-bay some items, but you know what? For a pound or two, I wasn’t going to use up my storage or my efforts. My peace of mind at this point is most important to me.
Before marriage I had a two year break from DH and had stayed with my brother in Dubai. I remember at the time I was given a two door wardrobe – I had exactly five outfits, 3 shoes, and one bag. I never felt that I had missed out on anything and was rather happy with my ensemble.
That is what I want to get back to. While I still have a lot of stuff, I am OK with what I have and I know that I will pare down more. I also know that I will only be buying things that I need and not that I want.
This morning, I visited the skip and let it all go. Not an ounce of regret and a whole load of relief.
I have always been frugal and now I will work towards being a minimalist.
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