And So It Goes

When in a situation like this, there are two types of women (or maybe three) :

Type 1: Forgive the husband, pray to God and work with the husband to resurrect the relationship

Type 2: Stand-up, dust their back, say F*** off and walk away

Type 3: Stand still and see where this is leading to and then strike, to make the husband pay for it all

I am Type 2.  Yes, that is what I am - truly.  But now I am 42 and I want a return on my investment and I am leaning more towards Type 3.  I am not leaving this house till I get a return on everything - every tear, every penny that I have spent, every humiliation, every hurt.

I don't feel anything - in a way that is in itself a good thing.  I used to love my Saturday Japanese classes.  Yesterday was the first year final exam.  I didn't write the exam.  It doesn't seem important anymore.  Nothing really seems important anymore.  My son left for India early morning - for his vacation.  Now I am truly alone at home and I am enjoying the solitude.

There is no structure to my day.  I eat, sleep, exercise, cook when I feel like it.  For the first time, working from home, I feel, has its perks.  I don't have to meet people when I am looking at my worst.

I have no expectations, don't owe anyone anything and am free to do as I please.

Right now I keep listening to this music, an old favourite of mine.