This is Me..

This post has been prompted by a comment by Southways. I would like to thank her for being considerate....

I guess in my entire life, despite knowing me quite well, my mom has given me only two “adult” advises – never undress in front of your husband (I guess she was trying to tell me to never get completely naked in front of DH so that we women never lose our mystery factor) and NEVER talk bad about your husband to anyone else.

It is very natural for couples to bicker about things, but the moment the news gets out that’s when all the problems start. I have learnt it first hand in my first marriage. It is not in my nature to discuss my problems with others; yeah sure I do mention things here and there in a joking fashion stripped off all its seriousness, but never to the point of telling anyone everything. In my first marriage it was useless; even if I kept quiet the marks on my body were evidence enough of what was happening at home. I could see people make judgements even before I could say something. There was a set who would look at me like I was a big fool...”Why is this woman still with that guy?” and there were others who thought and even said that I must have done something really bad to my ex for having been hit in such horrific way.

Now if people ask me why I got divorced I get away with saying that we had irreconcilable differences (thank god for whoever coined that!!), but the fact is so far away from the truth.

With DH, I have a respect and a sort of love that borders on obsession and hopelessness. You see, he is the only one that I have got, he’s is the only one who knows me inside out and therefore the only one who can and is capable of hurting me with just his words. But I am just too stubborn and every time I try to be the pliable so-called good wife I am going against my nature and this is causing me too much of problems. I know it is fine for me to say anything about him, but if anyone else has to say anything, other than good about him, I would be highly upset.

So why bitch about DH on this blog? I guess I must have said it umpteem times before – this blog is the closest I will come to being truthful to myself and about myself. Deep, deep inside I am a melancholic person and no one other than DH knows this. I like silences, sad movies and dig a life trodden with troubles, only because I know that it will make me stronger and I will emerge a winner. A bit contradictory I guess, but that’s me...truly.

So SouthWays, you are right...relationships are complicated and for someone else to comment on it would be like throwing darts in the wind.