Anonymous says the difficulty is in really finding what it is that *you* think you want. What have you been searching for?
I guess this is a general question and can be answered in many different ways. Here I attempt to address my version of what I was looking for in a perfect partner.
- Love, in my books, flies out of the window after the honeymoon years. Then your partner becomes a habit. He is your favourite teddy bear – one that you can’t sleep without. So if I am to spend the rest of my life with this person, it is very important that my partner is also my bestest friend.
- I am the queen of melodrama. This means that my partner should put up with my endless talks, array of emotional outbursts and crazy laughter.
- Sex – if I may discuss that - I am insatiable. Ever ready and always willing to experiment and enjoy. So dear partner just has to be participative, thanks I’ll do the rest.
- A Pillar of silent strength and support – By nature I am a melancholic and needy person. I keep a strong front only for the rest of the world and my partner should be one that can deal with these dual faces of mine.
OK so that’s talking about emotions, now on to the hard fact of life that often become the bone of contention:
- He should know how to live within his means
- Discuss his day with me
- Be ready to share his home, finance and friends with me.
- Never talk loud or even harsh to me.
- Understand that I have an OCD about keeping the house and wardrobe in order.
I think I have exhausted all my requirements and I really don’t think they are too much to ask from a man. Since I am a pretty easy going person and with the exception of my OCD I am pretty much flexible about everything, technically no one should have a problem in living with me.
1 comment:
I think everyone should have a set of standards that are non-negotiable. Things you are not willing to compromise on. Like the first four conditions you wrote about (the love, sex and support). But just because they are non-negotiable does not mean that you are going to meet a man/woman who will give them to you - just the way you like it. I dont think that is possible, because people are so different from each other and have such different interpretations of the same rules. What I do think is possible is to meet someone who is willing to recognise that certain things are important to you and is willing to hard work at giving them to you in the way you want. And IF YOU HAVE MET THAT SOMEONE, then even if he makes mistakes once in a while or loses his way, you need to take the effort to help him find it.
For me, though I compeletely get the second list (I am a textbook case of OCD!!!!!), it seems like a list of things which by their very nature infringe of his ability to live life the way he wants. Ideally, when I come home I like to put each and everything I took to the office in its correct place. Even if I arrive at 2am in the morning. At 2am, all my husband wants to do drop things where they fall and jump into bed. I dont think this means that either of us love the other less. Sometimes I win the battle and sometimes he does. I am reconciled to the fact that we will be argueing about this 50 years from now.....but as long as he gives me my non-negotiables, I guess I can live with the rest.
Oh! such a long and boring comment. Please feel free not to publish.
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