Amen To This Episode

Scene on Friday evening in the living room:

DH: Shall we go out for dinner?
C: Sure. (Remember we have always been on talking terms but had just stopped talking for a few days)
C: But I don’t want to go out if we are going to sit like strangers over there.
DH: Lets have dinner and then we will talk.

Dinner went fine. We bought dessert from the nearby supermarket and returned home.

It so happens that I can remember each and every word that goes through my mind in times of tears and unhappiness. But come something that brings me joy and I can’t recall even a moment of it....

DH: Babes, you moan too much of work and I get fed up of it. You moan about your boss because you don’t have any guts to talk to her and you back home and ruin my peace of my
C: So with whom should I discuss my troubles?
DH: Yes discuss your trouble, but then do something to sort the mess, not keep talking about it over and over again.
C: Ok, what else?
DH: You make it sound like you sacrificed a lot to be with me. It was a choice that you made without any compulsion, so why do you always keep harping about it all the time?
C: ‘Cause I took that decision thinking I would get something in return. And sometimes I feel I am not.
DH: You see you need to stop holding that against me.
C: No guarantees, but I’ll try to.
DH: You are treating this relationship like your first marriage. If you don’t get what you want, then you close up.
C: I can’t help it when I keep knocking and knocking to get some sense into you and you just don’t listen. You too are treating this relationship like how you did your first marriage.
(First marriages are touchy topic for both of us. We both have suffered a lot at the hands of our respective spouses, me mentally and DH emotionally)
DH: But why did you stop sleeping in our bed?
C: Our bed? This is your home and THAT is YOUR bed.
DH: It is OUR bed and whatever happens we HAVE to sleep together every night.
C: I just need you to give me some time everyday. Is that too much to ask for?
DH: No it is not and I think we both have been insensitive to each other’s needs. So why did you shift to the guest bedroom?
C: ‘Cause I do not want to expect anything from you. To just get away from the hurt.....
By this time DH slowly moved to my side of the sofa and put his arms around me. And I hugged him back. (For those who are wondering – no, I didn’t shed a single tear)

Yes, this talk did go well.

I think as you grow older and because you have gone through broken marriages, you somehow know exactly what you want and what you do not want. I am too old to be playing games in a relationship and this is not about who wins in an argument. I was sad, down and out and I did what I thought was best. It may not have been good from DH’s point of view but it gave me some peace for a few days. I do not intend to shift out of our bedroom ever again.