It was only when I read and commented on 30in2005's post that I realised that my To Do List to 41 does not mention anything about my marriage. Fact is that I do not know where it is going. We both come from previous marriages which involved a lot of shouting / arguments and in my case a whole lost of violence. So in this relationship when one of us gets irritated with the other, we just close the other one out - no talking, no shouting, no nothing - civil disobedience as Gandhiji would call it. We have perfected this to such an art that we both can last, live under the same roof, without talking to each other - sometimes as long as 23 days (that has been the maximum and we have done it twice already) before we open up. And finally when do talk, the issue in concern seems so petty to even discuss.
The problem with this silence arrangement is that one party is always in the dark about what exactly prompted the withdrawal. And while keeping quiet seems much better than having an argument, after a point one gets used to doing things alone and the presence of the other person in the house does not matter. Like having house mates you do not get along with and want nothing to do with.
On New Year's eve my sister-in-law had visited us and we had gone out for dinner, all four of us (son included). As the meal was getting over it dawned on me that DH hadn't talked to me at all - not a single word! It was just SIL and me yapping away. When it struck 12, I did not get my customary hug and the New Year day was spent in utter silence. Mom says what we do on New Year will follow us the rest of the year. Ah well I guess it means that there will be more silence at home.
I am not really sure what I have done this time and right now I am not even bothered. I am beyond hurt now, just PISSED super PISSED. Hope everyone else had a better time.
The problem with this silence arrangement is that one party is always in the dark about what exactly prompted the withdrawal. And while keeping quiet seems much better than having an argument, after a point one gets used to doing things alone and the presence of the other person in the house does not matter. Like having house mates you do not get along with and want nothing to do with.
On New Year's eve my sister-in-law had visited us and we had gone out for dinner, all four of us (son included). As the meal was getting over it dawned on me that DH hadn't talked to me at all - not a single word! It was just SIL and me yapping away. When it struck 12, I did not get my customary hug and the New Year day was spent in utter silence. Mom says what we do on New Year will follow us the rest of the year. Ah well I guess it means that there will be more silence at home.
I am not really sure what I have done this time and right now I am not even bothered. I am beyond hurt now, just PISSED super PISSED. Hope everyone else had a better time.
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