Our relationship was never all that great - but so are 99.5% relationships in this whole entire f***** world that way.
There is one thing that nags me though - did I drive DH to have this affair? You know sometimes you jinx yourself. In one of my previous posts I had wished that he would find some sort of true love. And God knows - maybe this is IT for him.
But me - what about me? Maybe I didn't love him like "I would die for you" sort of thing. But I really cared for him and thought of his good all the time. This is like a stab at the back. That he has been seeing this woman for almost a year - can you believe it? A year and idiot me found out only this week when they took a trip to France together.
France, France? Haha - I could laugh my guts out right now. 7 blooming years I have been in this country and the furthest we have gone together from home (apart from India of course) is Southampton - about 200 miles away.
Just wish the earth would open up and swallow me.....
For the record - I am angry, NOT sad.
5 comments:
please dont blame yourself... again the world will make you believe that you drove someone to it.. the truth is that he did it cos he had the morals to do it... he is the one who did it and not you... and what kind of shitty woman is ready to go with him knowing that he is married??
the world is full of weirdos... you just got stuck with one... its not your fault... at least you can breathe free, be with your kid without nagging doubts and start caring for someone else who deserves ur love.... really take time off...
If you truly loved him(and not just cared deeply as you say) you would be sad too or so I think(any maybe you will be later). So perhaps it's a sign that you are meant to find love someplace else(with someone else, someday). Although anger is what I would feel too at first for sure. But I also know given how much I love M I would be incredibly sad and depressed.
Why don't you have a chat with him at length about it. Don't just give up and get out. Ask him why, what, how if only for closure because once you opt out it might be too late to see this information even if it is just for yourself to mull over.
Take care. Eat well, try and get some sleep every day. Do one thing at a time. Slowly. Slowly.
And yes, all relationships are flawed. All of them. Yours isn't any different and therefore doesn't give him license to fool around or seek comfort elsewhere. He should've talked to you if he was feeling the lack of love/affection from you or alienation of some sort and how you'll could both sort it out. Replacing honest communication with your wedded partner with philandering is a very weak and cowardly move. I don't care if it is true love for him. Honest communication should still precede any drastic moves on one's part.
Deepa
This has nothing to do with you. With your love for him, or the manner in which you treated him or anything that even can be remotely traced to you.
Nobody is ever 'driven' to cheat by another. They are driven to cheat because they, and only they, didn't have the moral fortitude to do the right thing - break up, resist, walk away, get a divorce, etc.
I speak from experience as someone who discovered her husband had an affair 6 months ago.
I do agree that closure is important, at least it was for me. I needed to know all the details, the nitty gritty of it all. But wouldn't recommend it for others. Choose wisely at this point.
Do confide in one close friend. Never in your family but just one BFF that you trust to death and back.
If you are getting a divorce, get a good lawyer
Lots of love and hugs.
Stay strong.
Hugs to you. I cannot imagine what you are going through. Stay Strong. It is surely not your mistake. Your husband did not have the courage to do the right thing. What he did behind your back was cowardly and unforgivable! You deserve better and hope you find someone worthy of your love.
Oh sweetie!!
I am so sorry darling, please do not blame yourself, he is a first class jerk! I donno what to say. Hugs to you
Deepa
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